


Everybody Wants to Fall in Love, Not Me

by Shrimprave



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexual Lydia, Beetlejuice Has Mood Ring Hair (Beetlejuice), Coming Out, Family Bonding, Fluff, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, aromantic beetlejuice, beetlebabes dni, chaotic duo, not beetlebabes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27115579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shrimprave/pseuds/Shrimprave
Summary: "I just thought you liked them?""I do like them.""I like Barbara. I like Adam. I like them a lot! I like like you too! Charles and Deborah too!"
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz
Comments: 8
Kudos: 59





	Everybody Wants to Fall in Love, Not Me

**Author's Note:**

> Song title from Don't fall in love by Danko Jones.  
> As much as I absolutely adore and ship Beetlelands/Goldenrat, I also love the idea of aromantic Beetlejuice!  
> It's not super obvious but I also hc with Beetlejuice with ADHD and yellow, cat-like, eyes. :)  
> Enjoy this little thing I quickly whipped up!

"Hey, Beej?"

Beetlejuice hummed lazily from where he was laying on Lydia's bed. It kind of reminded her of a cat, and she wouldn't put it past the demon to actually purr. That, however, wasn't what was on her mind as of now. "What is it, kid?" He drawled, cracking bright yellow colored eyes open to look at her. He looked tired. Ever since living with the Maitland-Deetz they got to see the less...feral side of Beetlejuice. Well, Lydia did anyway.

"What happened to you and Adam and Barbara?" She asked curiously, peering back at her nails which had now dried from their second coat of black polish. She held her hand out expectedly and BJ complied, moving his hand so she could take it.

"What'd'you mean?" He questioned back, squinting at the area their hands were rather than Lydia herself, as if that's where the answer to their questions laid. "Did somethin' happen? Did I do somethin' to upset them?" He added after a beat, shifting more on his side.

Lydia faintly caught the green color of his hair darkening in her peripheral vision. With the hand holding the freshly dipped nail polish brush, she waved his worries off, "No, no, nothing like that." After he visibly destressed from that brief moment and his hair grew lighter yet again, she continued, "I just thought you liked them?"

Lydia looked up at him this time, just in time to see the way his eyebrows furrowed together and he remained staring at nothing in particular until he tilted his head ever so slightly and met Lydia's eyes.

"I do like them." It was simple, almost a question but remaining easily as a fact. 

Clearly, Beetlejuice was misunderstanding somewhere in the bit, because he still looked confused and that wasn't the answer Lydia was looking for. She didn't get how he wasn't understanding her. Beej wasn't stupid. He was immature, sure, and she knew he wasn't the best at understanding people sometimes, but this was so...simple.

"That's not what I mean," she reiterated.

"But that's what you asked," He said pointedly, glaring at her without malice. At his words she could feel how tense his hand was and let go. Instantly he moved his hand, slowly, and in a way that wouldn't mess up the nail polish, but enough that for any of the jitters away. After a second he gave his hand back and she went right back to applying the paint.

"I mean, like, like," She said with more emphasis, pointing the small brush at him.

"But I do. I like 'em a whole lot," Beetlejuice replied, sinking through the bed and onto the floor, scooting to take the place Lydia had close to the edge as she backed up to make space.

"So why don't you tell them?" Lydia pushed, hoping not to come off as too pushy. Clearly he had been pining over them. She didn't know about how the Maitlands felt, but admitting it wouldn't really harm anyone right? Might make things awkward for awhile, but overall no harm done.

"Because they know. Why would I tell them something they already know? Actually, no people love it when you tell them something they already know. They get really mad, which actually that usually doesn't end too well, but-"

"They know?!" Lydia visible reacted, pulling her hands away and looking on with shock. "Nothings changed so does that mean they- they didn't like you back?"

"That's a little rude, Lyds. I thought Babs and A-Dog liked me now even after, well, you know, everything? I-"

"What? No, wait, are we even on the same page? Are we reading the same conversation here?"

"I can't read." Beetlejuice grinned at her, sharp canines prominent in his smile.

Lydia rolled her eyes and snatched his opposite hand. "Have you been listening or just going along with the conversation halfway?"

"I've been listenin', what makes you think I haven't? I just don't understand. I know I did a lot of shit but I assumed we were all on good terms. Likin' each other an' all? You know that whole "big, happy, kind of, definitely, dysfunctional family" bullshit?" He said, tracing a pattern on his leg with the pad of his finger, careful to keep any freshly painted claws from getting messed up. Lydia would probably kill him if he messed it up and she had to redo it. Best avoid a tiny teens wrath. "I like Barbara. I like Adam. I like them a lot! I like like you too! Charles and Deborah too!"

"Beej," Lydia sighed after a very deep cringe, "I'm asking if you are in love with the two ghosts in the attic. Like like as in "in love with" and-"

That seemed to get a reaction out of the demon. He physically cringed back, yanking his hand back in the process, albeit not forcefully thank goodness (Lydia would definitely kill him if he messed up the nail polish. Claws were not easy to paint.)

"Oh god no, nevermind, backpedal, go back," He rushed out. God-slash-Satan, if he had any blood running through this stupid body his face would be absolutely on fire, maybe literally.

"Yeah," Lydia grimaced.

"Definitely not in love with you, Lyds. Jesus fuck."

"I don't think you need to clear that up anymore, buuut I didn't hear you defending your case for the Maitlands so that must meaaan-"

"I'm not in love with Barbara or Adam," Beetlejuice said simply.

It was probably the easiest answer she had gotten out of him this entire time and yet she deflated at the answer. "What."

"What'd'you mean "what"?" 

"How the fuck are you not in love with them?"

"Uh- somehow I feel as if I'm the one in the wrong here and I'm not really sure how I'm suppose to-"

"It's really good that you've learned about all that consent stuff and know what you did was wrong but you still liked them? Just learned to express it differently, I swear to God-" Lydia sat the nail polish down in her tangent, looking almost frustratingly at the black rug below her.

"Am- am I suppose to be in love with them or something?" Beetlejuice asked, drumming his now dried claws on one hand against his leg.

"Well, no, it's just that I thought you really were? All the flirting and the past harassment-"

"-yeah sorry about that-"

"-I just thought it was clear as day and you were just expressing it wrong."

"Babes, I acted like that with anyone I found attractive," Beej pointed out. Not like Lydia had seen him interact with anyone outside of what she had seen, but he was over three thousand years old, so he had plenty of time to...interact.

"Wait, wait, wait," Lydia rambled on, waving a hand rapidly in the air before bring it down in one swift motion to point at the very confused demon in front of her, "So you're telling me you never wanted any sort of relationship with Barbara and Adam, not anyone else, and that it was explicitly not romantic, not ever?"

"Yeah, pretty much?" He responded hesitantly, shrugging unsurely with the words.

"You know the difference between romantic and platonic right?" Lydia asked, scooting closer, gazing with glaring eyes.

"Uh- well I- well it's always been a kind of blurry line- I don't really understand the why it matters," Beetlejuice defended, raising his hands up when Lydia got closer even.

"Right, sorry, personal space," She corrected herself sitting back. Lydia ran a hand through her short black hair, smiling to herself in a way that did not help sate Beetlejuice's new confusion.

"You've never wanted to marry anyone?"

"Outside of using it as a green card to life, no."

"You've never wanted to be in a relationship with someone outside of friendship?"

"Well, no-"

"And the entire, disgusting by the way, flirty thing isn't a facade?"

"This is getting oddly personal-"

"So you're aromantic!" Lydia squeaked out, maybe a little too excited. It wasn't even big news, but she finally had someone to relate to just a tiny bit more on yet another subject. And of course it would he Beetlejuice. She shook her head fondly at her own thoughts.

"I'm a what now." The demon deadpanned, slowly going back to tapping his fingers on his leg, a little faster now that time passed.

"Aromantic. Now I know you aren't one for labels for yourself, but it's basically a lack of romantic attraction!" She beamed.

Lydia honestly expected more confusion, but for the first time since this whole fiasco Beetlejuice's face relaxed and it looked like something finally dawned on him.

"Oh, there's a word for that now. Oh," He replied, scratching his head sheepishly, cracking another less toothy smile, "Ma always said I was just brok'n. A lot comin' from her since she also told me not to get attached to people. Guess she meant that entirely too though, not just shitty relationship advice. She always said it didn't make sense."

"It all makes perfect sense! I don't know why I didn't realize sooner," She laughed, shaking her head, "God I'm sorry for interrogating you. No offense for all of that."

"None taken. Makes sense I guess. Didn't know that was really a thing myself. Just kinda believed Ma. We all know how well that's gotten me though," BJ said, a light cackle at the end. "Ya really stressed me out there, Babes."

"Yeah, yeah, sorry about that, but oh! I can finally relate a little more to someone since I'm asexual! I don't have any sexual attraction to people and you don't have any romantic attraction to people!"

As something came to mind, Beetlejuice broke out in a wider grin, leaning forward this time and resting a hand dramatically on Lydia's shoulder. "Like two halves of a whole idiot."

"Exactly, like two halves of a whole idiot!" Lydia exclaimed, throwing her arms around the demon in a hug that caught him off guard. He quickly returned it. This seemed like an unspoken comfort that came to Lydia, whatever this was, and he had to admit something in him found it strangely comforting too.

"So all the sexual jokes I make, and the definitely not jokes-"

"They don't bother me at all," Lydia replied as she pulled back, "Like. At all. I just don't want to "do it" myself. That's literally it."

"S'ppose that's good? Oh- oh shit."

"What?"

"I messed up the nail polish when I hugged you," Beetlejuice replied, already ready to phase through the floor.

"I'll give you a 5 second head start to run for your life," Lydia said.


End file.
